my problems...and religion

The thing is...when you're as smart as I am you can coast by in life most of the time...I did this all thru high school and grade school....but u never learn how to study or work hard and this eventually caught up with me in college...I'm at a point in my life where its starting to feel anything ive ever dreamed of is out of reach...I know I'll never play pro football, I'll never be president, or someone important...hell I probably wont even get my dream job...and in order for me to even get close to any of it I would have to neglect the responsibilities I'm saddled with. I love my kids more than almost anything but I would be lying if I said I couldn't picture a better life if I had never had them...I see my friends taking trips and doing things or chasing their dreams and I wonder why don't I get to be happy? I guess I chased the wrong things growing up...people say have faith in God but I havent been religious for some time...I hats when something good happens it's "praise God, God is good" but when something bad happens "its all part of his mysterious plan"...people say God challenges people to make them stronger or test their faith...what happens to the people who don't get stronger? And for someone who is omnipotent "He" does a lot of testing and questioning as if he doesn't know everything...I do believe in an ultimate power, God, if u will, but to believe we could even understand or comprehend a being of immeasurable power and knowledge is prideful at best and foolish at worst.... U ever notice good memories get better with time? Its why I'd rather go out with friends than save money...if I dropped dead tomorrow I know I'll have wished I went to that concert, bbq, bar, or trip...the problem is I haven't made too many good memories in recent years...seems all I have to look forward to these days is my ride to work where I can listen to music and just chill and.....yea...that's about it Let me cut this short since I'm still at work but I'll write something less depressing later....aight...